Vitamin C and a bevy of choices

Choices are like vitamin C. They don't last. It doesn't matter the strength of the dose or the strength of the commitment. Every morning, they both must be started anew. Each day, each of us make a million choices. From the food we eat, to route to work, even the people we love. We choose. Some with barely a fleeting thought. Others with a deliberate tally of the pros and cons. And still others with prayer and angst. My morning walk has finaly landed in category two. With every morning including a mental scale. The warmth of the bed, the energy gained from walking. The forty five more minutes of sleep, the long tern benefits of moving. Most mornings I choose walking, some I choose sleep. But each morning, its a choice.

My understanding of this is has only recently changed. In my head I still partially think, when I make a decision, it sticks. The realization explains why I so often find myself standing at the crossroads, experiencing daja vu, and thinking 'didn't I already decide this?" But honestly, the realization just makes me tired. Some days, the million choices, just feel like a thousand landmines. I stepped on a few this week.

I have been told a lot lately that I am nice. And though I appreciate the compliment, it has also been frustrating me. For one because it is always said with a note of surprised. Which is just a telling of the sad state of the world. But also because it is often said as if it is just who I am. Instead of an accumulation of choices I make every day...and fail to make. I can assure you it doesn't come naturally. Recently my friend Red reminded me of Thessalonians. "And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good". There is a similar verse in Galatians. I love it because it is a reminder that growing tired, is normal, even expected. It is also, for me, a reminder that this journey is not about pulling on my boot straps a little harder. But leaning on a faithful God that still blows my mind with His love.

I used to love the song 'Choose life' by Big Tent Revival. "Choose life, that you might live". I still like the song. But I have been thinking, Jesus said pick up your cross daily. Not once, or even yearly, or monthly. Daily. Though life happens in seasons and we celebrate the milestones, Life is made of up the choices we face at every single step.

One billion one hundred two million three hundred thousand down, eighteen billion two hundred fifty million-ish to go.