Opinions are a funny thing. Have too few and your spineless. Not to mention really annoying when it comes to where to grab dinner. Have to many and your opinionated. With all of its stubborn, rude, and pigheaded connotations attached.
I spent the better part of my life as the former spineless variety. A deep need to blend in and not make waves led to, I admit, one of the most annoying dinner companions ever. But somewhere in the last five years, admits all that fell away and all that grew, I formed opinions. They started small really. But the innocent loving sushi and hating cough drops, expanded quickly to issues from abortion to religion. The last few months of my life, election season including, have led me to take stock of my opinions. I opened what I thought was a closet, and discovered a warehouse.
The first thought on taking stock was holy snickers, spineless jelly no more. But the second was how rarely I open that warehouse. Rarely might be a stretch actually, lets call it never (at least for anything bigger then dinner plans). Some where in the journey from ambivalence to care I decided I didn't want to be opinionated. Call it a carry over from wave avoidance, or maybe a desire to not be like the person preaching at me from countless podiums on countless corners. (I secretly think Seattle has a surplus warehouse of soapboxes I just haven't found). Its not that I don't care. Its that I don't want to offend.
One of the best teachers I have have was a guy named David Long. Like my current class he was a philosphy of religion guy. But unlike my current class, he was totally unbiased. I spent the better part of that class trying to figure out his actually opinion on anything. He was great at playing devil's avocate, at sparking discussion, but after almost three months I never did figure out what he truly thought of almost anything. Somewhere along I think I decided I want to be like him.
Its not that I think that is wholly bad. But that view has left a lot of white space, amazing book unshared, good questions never discussed. I wrote a paper today, and half way through I found myself making statements I didn't agree with, for the sake of bringing up a topic I felt was important, but in a way that wouldn't earn me a F. In all fareness I did the opposite in my other class, responding to my assignment with an appropriate - but should earn me a bad grade from my bias teacher - link. So it balances out.....right?
Its late and my cold ridden brain is starting to scramble thoughts. So here is the gist; I am just wondering, how do you have opinions, with out being opinionated?
I think about this blog often. Usually every time I finish a book about Islam, or Korea, or the love of God. All that make my brain hurt in the best ways. But the thoughts stay in, or at best make it to the pages of my offline journal. Instead this blog has remained a 'what personal issues are currently on my mind'. I hate it actually. There are bigger fish to fry then my latest emotional state.
